All in all, I think I have a pretty good life… and I look back on most of my childhood fondly. My brothers and I had a lot of fun. My parents had a terrible marriage, but, for the most part they were good parents.
My Dad, I give a world of credit too for staying with us and always keeping things sane. He was our voice of reason. He was the one we could get real life advice and support from. He was always there for us.
My Mom may have been extreme with her religious beliefs and definitely over the edge at times, but she always tried her best. She was dealing with a lot herself. More than we ever knew, or probably will ever understand. She has a lot of good points as well. She loved us… she would never purposely try to hurt us or anyone. I needed to learn that the “strange” things she did were not her fault… but her illness… and she did pretty good all things considered.
So, no… I do not think that I had it so bad. I know it could have been a lot worse. I know that.
So, why this blog? Why dwell on the past?
I’m simply trying to learn. To understand. I’m finally trying to come to terms with the “bad” parts of my past that I blew off for so long. I’m realizing that the things I do struggle with, are all tied together. I think I need to understand and process things through so that I can move on in other areas I struggle with. Not only to improve my own life, but, to make sure I’m not inadvertently projecting things in to my own parrenting as well. I want to mess up my kids as little as possible. 😉 And, maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else in the process and that would be the icing on the cake.